


Communication Breakdown

by tomatojuicee



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: (?), Canon Compliant, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining, Slow Burn, [gets shot for tagging fluff], fictional dramatization of real events!, i think this counts as slow burn..., the real events in question being vlives and broadcasts, this is not angst despite the title and description this is a happy fic!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25558912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomatojuicee/pseuds/tomatojuicee
Summary: Five times Eric said the wrong thing to Juyeon and the one time he finally got it right.
Relationships: Lee Juyeon/Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 13
Kudos: 378





	Communication Breakdown

**Author's Note:**

> Eric is always teasing Juyeon and he never realizes that Juyeon is actually hurt over it until after the fact, it’s kinda funny lmfaoooo. Sorry Juyeon...  
> The title is taken from the Led Zeppelin song of the same name, but otherwise the song and this fic share nothing in common (sadly.)

1.

Eric was home alone. Well, not at home, but at the dorm. The rest of the members were on holiday somewhere: the Korean members with their families, and Jacob and Kevin off rendezvousing somewhere in Korea that neither of them had visited before, rehearsing their onscreen chemistry.

Usually when the group took holidays, Eric would stay over at Juyeon’s. With nowhere else to go, his hyung had basically insisted from the beginning that Eric come home with him. Eric really appreciated it. He got home cooked meals, time with Juyeon for himself, and Juyeon’s parents had almost become like second parents to him. This time though, Juyeon’s family had planned to travel with their extended family for vacation, and although he was close with the family, Eric understood that tagging along this time was overstepping his boundaries.

So, Eric was kind of lonely. The novelty of jerking it to porn with no headphones plugged in had worn off long ago, but at least the dorm stayed clean. Eric finished off his 8th pack of instant ramyun this week and washed the rest of his MSG water down the drain.

After dinner he found himself in his bed, as he inevitably ended up when he had nothing to do. He unlocked his phone and scrolled through Twitter on his burner on autopilot, barely registering the words flying past his eyes. These days it was getting harder and harder for him to read English with just a skim. He figured he ought to read a whole book in English to get back to a comfortable level of fluency, but knew in his heart of hearts he would never get around to it. A while ago, Juyeon had suggested they read an English book together to improve his own English, so maybe there was that.

Juyeon was supposed to come back to the dorms soon. Eric forgot if it was today or tomorrow. And then the rest would come trickling back in and the dorm would return to its familiar state of crowded chaos. Eric comforted himself with that thought as he closed his eyes and snuggled further into his pillow.

.

.

.

Eric’s bed was rocking slowly, pulling him gently out of dreamland. He must have fallen asleep. Yawning and stretching slightly, Eric cracked his eyes open. Sometime while he was sleeping, the sun had gone down under the horizon. The dorm was dark and smelled pleasantly earthy and deeply sweet. His blankets cocooned him in a warm, soft embrace. Hold on, his bed wasn’t rocking. That was a hand softly petting down his bed-head. Eric craned his head to the side to check who the hand was attached to (he slept on his stomach) and found Juyeon’s familiar features, muted by the darkness and drawn up somberly.

“Hyung..? You’re back?”

“I’m sorry, Youngjae-yah.” Juyeon’s other arm was wrapped around Eric’s waist.

Eric blinked hard, still coming back to consciousness. He realized that Juyeon’s body was slotted against his on the tiny bottom bunk. Juyeon had squeezed himself in to lay parallel with Eric and pushed Eric towards the wall in the process. Juyeon was wearing his favorite cologne today, Eric noticed. He took a deep inhale.

“Why are you saying sorry?”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t take you with me on vacation.” The hand continued petting Eric’s head. Juyeon looked truly regretful.

“What-? Juyeon, of course you couldn’t take me this time. You don’t need to apologize.”

“I wanted to though. It must have been lonely here.”

Eric opened his mouth to agree and then stopped short. He didn’t want Juyeon to worry about him, or worse feel that he was to blame for Eric spending a long holiday without anyone else.

“Hyung, I was actually fine. Don’t worry about me.” Eric tried to laugh but it came out garbled in his post-nap state. Juyeon’s hand gave a reassuring stroke down his nape.

“I still feel bad for that...”

“Well you shouldn’t. If you should feel bad for anything it’s that you’re squishing me into the wall right now! I had fun on my own, I don’t always have to go home with you to enjoy my vacation!” Eric said. He hoped he came off chipper and convincing. He lingered for a split second on how he’d defaulted to calling Juyeon’s place home before quickly discarding the thought.

Juyeon had looked concerned before, but his expression jumped in shock and rearranged itself blankly at Eric’s words. “Oh,” Juyeon said in a measured tone. “Well then, I guess I’ll just go and unpack then. Sorry.” He untangled himself from Eric and disappeared out the door.

Shit, maybe what he said had come out too harsh. Suddenly Eric’s room felt as if Juyeon had never been there. Eric was alone in the cavernous dorms again, and his bunk felt empty and oddly big.

2.

“I saw a comment that asked, ‘Youngjae-yah, between Juyeon and Hyunjae, who’s better at taking selfies?’”

Juyeon and Eric were doing a live, eating patbingsu with the fans. Eric’s eyes were still glued to the comment section but he couldn’t help but crack a smile at Juyeon’s transparent attempt to fish for compliments.

“Be honest! Be objective.” Juyeon added.

Eric grinned at Juyeon. “Oh yeah? Be real?”

“Don’t get your emotions involved.” Juyeon brought his hand down in the air as if he was laying down a law. “Who’s been better? Recently!” His hand remained gesturing in front of his face like it did when he was nervous about something. God, he was so cute.

“Recently?” Eric stuck his chin out at Juyeon defiantly. He really wanted to know, huh?

“Recently!”

“Okay, recently, I’ll be objective.” Eric said, leaning into the camera to give the fans the scoop and pausing before he spoke again. “Okay, I admit that Juyeon hyung has gotten much better at taking selfies...” he turned back to Juyeon. “But they still don’t do you justice! Seriously. But you’ve improved.”

Juyeon was listening quietly, so Eric went on. “Buuuut, Hyunjae hyung knows exactly what kind of selfies the fans like.” It was true. Fans ate up pouts and big sweatshirts and... interesting angles. Basically, anything Changmin posted. Juyeon processed belatedly what Eric was beginning to say and his mouth popped open in a little ‘o’ of realization.

“I mean,” Eric went on, “hyung you take them well too, but you just take them without thinking, like,” Eric raised his hand as if he was holding a phone and did a demonstration.

“So TheB don’t like my selfies?”

“No-no- they like your selfies of course but Hyunjae hyung- I take the same car as him right? And he’s in the back of the car all alone and I see him like...” Eric grabbed his phone and slouched down into his chair. “He’s doing THIS facial expression-” Eric pushed out his bottom lip and looked up at Juyeon with the biggest eyes he could muster. He managed to tease the smallest smile out of Juyeon. “-And he’s taking selfies.” Juyeon’s face went blank again. “You know? Those kind of selfies. He thinks about what kind of expressions fans want to see.”

“So who is it?” Juyeon demanded.

Eric paused. “Me, of course.” He giggled to himself.

“Between me and Hyunjae hyung.” Juyeon didn’t bat an eye. Eric sighed.

“Between the two of you...” Eric could feel Juyeon’s expectant gaze on him. “Honestly I think it’s Hyunjae!” Eric declared.

Juyeon’s jaw dropped and he huffed and hid his whole face behind his massive hand like he was SO offended. He was such a big baby.

“Honestly they’re both so bad!” Eric continued. It was true. Both Hyunjae and Juyeon were almost unreal to behold in person, how they managed to turn themselves into a Scrub Daddy and a Picasso portrait (respectively) when they took selfies was beyond comprehension. You were supposed to look better in selfies, you were supposed to use them to catfish and trick people online into thinking you’re more attractive than you really are!

Juyeon’s skills were on a different level of travesty in Eric’s personal opinion. Juyeon’s existence was so irresistibly handsome that Eric was sometimes tempted to rip the film camera out of Jacob or Sangyeon’s hands and dedicate a whole photo essay to his beautiful hyung. Eric usually wasn’t the artistic type but Juyeon was some kind of muse to him, he guessed.

Juyeon’s mouth was still open, hurt, and collecting flies.

“Okay but I’m terrible at selfies too,” Eric added. “I’m actually so bad,” he lamented to the fans.

“Youngjae-yah, look, I took these today.” Juyeon had finally closed that jaw of his and was showing some selfies on his phone.

Eric leaned in to evaluate Juyeon’s work. “Your head looks too big! You have to put your chin out further, don’t tuck it so much. And tilt your head more, the angle is all wrong.” While he rambled, Eric allowed his hand to tangle with Juyeon’s under the guise of swiping through pictures. Juyeon’s fingers were bony and deceptively soft and Eric came up with any excuse to touch them. A second later he pulled back like he’d touched a hot iron when he realized he’d indulged himself too much.

“Oh this one is goo-” Eric started.

“Anyways,” Juyeon interrupted, attention back on the chat box, “I think I take the best selfies out of us three.”

Eric and Juyeon shared a look. Juyeon turned back to the camera.

“Maybe I’m overconfident.”

Meanwhile Eric despaired, “What’s wrong with me guys? I’m really bad at taking selfies.” He and Juyeon considered his camera roll in (mourning) silence for a second and then Juyeon brought his index finger up.

“I think the problem is that your angle is always the same.”

“Oh true, I take them from the front and cut the top of my head off... I look like an alien!” Juyeon was pouting on the camera monitor in front of them and Eric continued to word vomit about his poor selfie technique.

“Uh, I have to go now.” Juyeon said.

Eric was in the middle trying to get a good selfie. “Oh, your session with the personal trainer?”

“Yeah. With Kevin.”

“I don’t go to the gym, TheB,” Eric smiled. ‘Heh.”

Juyeon was peering at the comments. “I’m gonna go now.” He got up and started towards the door.

“Hyung, I’ll turn it off soon. You’ll be done in an hour, right?”

Juyeon looked down at Eric from where he was standing and Eric looked up at him from his chair. Eric fought down a stupid reflexive smile. “Yep, one hour,” Juyeon said.

“Okay~” One hour was enough time to order pork belly and get it delivered for them to eat after Juyeon finished at the gym.

“Bye everyone!” Juyeon headed towards the door and Eric watched him get smaller in the camera monitor. As Juyeon opened the door and left, Eric blew a little kiss towards the camera, just for kicks. Then he turned around, locked the door on the tiny practice room, and came back to the camera. Alone, and time to wrap things up with the fans.

An hour later the front door of the dorm opened and Juyeon and Kevin filed in shining with sweat and stinking like a locker room.

“Something smells _amazing_ ,” Kevin announced right away.

“Hyung!” Eric perked up. He’d been on the couch listening for the turn of the door knob.

“Hi Youngjae.”

“Hey Eric.”

“I ordered us pork belly for dinner!”

Juyeon’s eyes crinkled and lit up the room. “Really?”

Eric pointed to the bags on the dining table. “I made sure it was from the place you liked last time.”

“Thanks Youngjae, let’s eat!” Juyeon kicked off his shoes and hurried to the table.

“Is there some for me too? Your favorite boy from Vancouver?” Kevin asked, pointing to himself.

“I only ordered two portions...” Eric said apologetically. “Sorry Kevin...”

“You could split some of mine..?” Juyeon offered, looking genuine.

Kevin laughed. “Nah, I’m just joking with you. I’m doing intermittent fasting anyways and it’s after my eating window now. Enjoy your meal!” He disappeared into his room. Eric saw Juyeon deflate with relief. He must have really worked up an appetite at the gym earlier.

At the dining table, Juyeon was already getting the food out and opening it up. “This looks so good. I’m so hungry!”

Eric got himself off the couch and got within a couple steps of Juyeon before he realized the problem. “Hyung! Go shower first, you smell!”

Juyeon had just broken apart a pair of chopsticks. “Huh?”

“You’re all gross! Go! Shower!”

“But...” Juyeon looked like a wet cat.

“I’m serious! I can’t eat with you smelling like that!” Eric complained.

“Fine,” Juyeon ceded, but not before ruffling Eric’s hair with a huge paw. “Just for you, Youngjae-yah.”

“Grooooossss!” Eric whined. “Aw, my hair is wet! How did your hands sweat that much?! Ew!”

Juyeon just laughed and headed to the bathroom, peeling his shirt off on the way and then disappearing behind closed doors. Eric looked back at the pork belly. It was only natural that his mouth was watering.

Later when Juyeon was showered and smelling like flowers and rainbows and they were knocking knees over dinner, Eric asked, “Are you gonna post the selfies from today?”

“Huh?” Juyeon looked up his container. “You mean the ones I showed you?”

“Yeah, those.”

Juyeon chewed and swallowed. “No, I don’t think so.”

“Really?”

“No. They weren’t that good.”

Eric opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again. He poked at his pork belly. “The last one was good.”

Juyeon shrugged. “It was okay. I’ll take some better ones to post later.”

“Oh...”

“Anyways, I saw a bus ad for a drama while we were coming back from our training session and I think you might like it,” Juyeon said. The topic of selfies was never revisited.

The next set of photos Juyeon posted for the fans were ones that he asked the manager to help him take. Eric laid in bed and stared at the post, telling himself that it didn’t mean anything.

3.

Eric wiped the sleep out of his eyes and stumbled into the dining room area. He’d migrated from the couch back to his bunk at 5 am and hadn’t gotten his best night of sleep. The group was doing a live in the evening, but the members still had to get up reasonably early to prepare.

“Good morning Youngjae.” Juyeon was already eating at the table, looking unreasonably awake in Eric’s opinion.

“Hyung,” Eric mumbled, dropping into a seat next to him and slouching onto the table. A hand immediately landed on his neck, massaging the tension out.

“You sleep okay?”

“No,” Eric mumbled.

“Try and sleep on the way to the salon.”

Eric made a sound to confirm he’d heard.

“Youngjae, look.”

Eric raised his head from his arms. “What is it?”

Juyeon’s closed fist was in front of him and when it opened, pieces of wrapped chocolate tumbled out. “I got you candy at the convenience store when I woke up.”

Eric perked up. “What? Thanks hyung!” He scooped the pieces towards his chest with two cupped hands. Juyeon never got him candy, much less for breakfast. It was a surprise that was not unwelcome.

Meanwhile, Juyeon got up to open the freezer. He returned with a blue plastic wrapping in his hands. “I got ice cream for myself.” He smiled.

“You’re crazy, eating ice cream for breakfast.” Eric said.

“Well technically, I ate half a kimbap for breakfast. This is my morning snack.” Juyeon started peeling away the plastic wrapping of his ice cream.

“Wait so... I can eat this chocolate now?”

Juyeon nodded and started slurping on his ice cream.

“But I thought I wasn’t allowed to eat candy for breakfast.” Eric was confused.

Juyeon chuckled and the sound rolled out deepened by his morning voice. “Well today is a special day, I’m giving you permission. So eat it.”

“What? Awesome!” Eric grinned and examined the chocolates in front of him, plotting out his plan of attack. Juyeon had gotten all his favorite kinds. Eric organized them into little groups on the table, pushing them into place so they were all orderly and at right angles, and then dove into it. Beside him, Juyeon slurped away at his ice cream and happily watched Eric devour the candy mosaic he’d created in the soft morning light.

A little later, a door cracked open somewhere in the dorm. Suddenly, intrusively, and annoyingly, Hyunjae’s voice could be heard throughout every nook and cranny of the place:

“HAPPY... WHITE DAY!”

Juyeon and Eric flinched and shared a look, just as grunts issued from three other doors simultaneously all saying something along the lines of ‘shut the hell up.’

Hyunjae trotted into the kitchen and stuck his nose in the fridge straight away. “Good morning!”

“Morning hyung,” Juyeon said. He stood and gathered all of Eric's discarded wrappers. Eric had demolished all of the chocolates easily. Juyeon headed towards the trash.

“Good morning Hyunjae hyung!” Eric said. It was easier to be bright and chipper with sugar running through his system now. “I almost forgot that it was White Day!” That was the reason for their broadcast later today, after all.

“Really?” Hyunjae came out of the fridge with a half eaten kimbap roll, looking around. “This anyone’s?”

Juyeon shut the trash bin lid quickly and leaned against the counter all casual. “It was mine. You can eat the rest.”

“Fanks,” Hyunjae said through the bite that was already in his mouth. “Excited to spend White Day with our fans?”

“Of course!” Eric chirped. To say he loved giving back to the fans was an understatement.

Juyeon nodded. “It’s with all of the members, so it should be fun.” He returned to his seat and his hand snaked back up to knead Eric’s neck. “Hyunjae hyung, are you?”

“Yeah, did you have other plans or something?” Eric grinned.

Hyunjae gave the two a scandalized look. “What are you trying to imply? I love filming things for the fans.” He swallowed his food and mercifully his next words were not muffled by kimbap. “No but really, I love our fans. They’re gonna love our cute outfits and the songs and skits we prepared for them, and as long as that’s the case, I’m gonna love doing it. I don’t know, even if I act out of character, it’s fun as long as I know the fans will like it. You know?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course we know, hyung.” Eric snickered. It wasn’t like anyone ever doubted Hyunjae’s devotion to the fans, but it was funny to give him a bit of a hard time. And plus, if it was for the fans, it was fun.

“W!”

“On White Day...” Eric screwed up his face. On White Day, he was having a hard time remembering that doing things for the fans made them automatically fun, especially if those things were acrostic poems. And of course he had been baited into doing an acrostic because Hyunjae told him the fans would like it. They were in the middle of their live broadcast and right now, all he felt was pressure- pressure to come up with something witty. And following Sunwoo was a very difficult act.

“Ee-” The rest of the guys supplied the next syllable for Eric’s partner, who happened to be Juyeon. Of course it was Juyeon.

“Lee Juyeon is the best!” Juyeon answered eagerly, clearly pleased with himself. He laughed and tugged at the stick in Eric’s hands. Eric couldn’t help but lean into him and giggle as well.

The voices around them prompted the next syllable. Eric ripped his focus away from Juyeon’s hands and back to the acrostic poem. Wait! Maybe he _could_ make this into a funny poem. “You’re wrong!” Eric announced with a wag of his finger.

“Da-” Sunwoo pronounced the next syllable, but then paused as what Eric just said caught up to him. Suddenly everyone, including Juyeon, was bending over with snickers, but Juyeon’s hand stayed tethered to his side of the stick.

“Hey- hurry up!” Eric said to Juyeon, giving the stick a little tug in his direction.

Juyeon’s eyes were wandering, searching for something. Obviously he hadn’t prepared for an answer like that.

“Daebak,” Kevin joked.

“Oh-” Juyeon lit up, “Daebak! Why am I wrong?” Hyunjae’s ugly laugh could be heard throughout the studio. Meanwhile Juyeon raised the stick between the camera and his face, looking sheepish.

Eric paused for a moment. He was cooking up a genius conclusion to this poem and he could feel the evil smile inching up his cheeks.

“Juyeon is wrong overall,” Eric jeered, making a round gesture with his hands meant to emphasize the ‘overall’ part.

The reaction was immediate, members falling over and off their chairs at Eric’s punchline. But in his periphery, Eric could see Juyeon’s shell-shocked and limp expression.

Eric realized his mistake instantly. Whatever small bits of satisfaction he felt at making the others laugh were erased as his stomach fell through the floor. It was obvious that Juyeon was hurt.

“I’m just kidding-!” Eric tried to backpedal. Somehow the stick had ended up in his hands again.

“You should apologize.” Someone else said.

“No, everyone, on White Day you need Juyeon!” Eric appealed to the cameras. Outwardly he was smiling but on the inside he felt sick.

“Youngjae changed,” Juyeon said.

“No, I-” Eric tried to give Juyeon a hug but he shied away from it, not even looking at Eric. Hyunjae was still cackling in the background, the fucking bastard.

Desperate to save the situation, Eric stooped to aegyo. “White Day is Juyeon~” he repeated sweetly.

“Youngjae, you’re not in high school anymore,” Sunwoo grouched. Eric felt awful.

Mercifully Chanhee interrupted, suggesting that they check the comments. Most people were laughing, and it was going a mile a minute so they couldn’t really make out many complete sentences in the first place, but Eric’s eyes fell on one comment in particular and suddenly the dread was back in his chest. He could trust Kevin and Chanhee not to read it. Sunwoo and Hyunjae... he prayed that they wouldn’t see it. Why was it taking so long to get pushed out of view. It was almost out of the screen-

Hyunjae opened his big mouth. “It was the best acrostic poem,” he read with a shit eating grin.

Eric wanted to cry. It clearly was the worst poem ever, and he’d hurt Juyeon hyung’s feelings.

Juyeon said it for him: “I was really hurt by that.” He didn’t even bother to mask it with a laugh.

The camera had long left them, but Eric grasped at Juyeon’s hands anyways, replacing the stick that Juyeon had been fiddling with. “No, it’s because I don’t know how to use my words,” Eric pleaded. Juyeon was still pretending to read the comments.

Elsewhere, the other members prepared candy for the fans and chattered at the camera. The broadcast carried on as if Eric’s inner crisis didn’t amount to even the smallest blip.

Eric held tighter to Juyeon’s hands. “...I really love Juyeon so much!” But it was no use. Eric’s words fell on deaf ears.

4.

Eric and Juyeon were on their way back from the convenience store. They’d gone to pick up some snacks- snacks that they had actually tried for the first time as part of the video series they’d filmed today. Eric and Juyeon agreed they had to eat it and watch a movie together when filming was over.

It had rained a bit that day, just light spring showers. Sadly Eric had missed it since they were cooped up in a windowless studio all day, but walking around after the rain had come and gone was almost a better alternative. The air smelled fresh and earthy. The damp pavement was glossy underfoot and yellow light from street lamps refracted through the occasional beads of moisture clinging to windows and overhangs, transforming them into little pins of brightness.

In the dark and softly glowing world of Seoul at dusk, Juyeon walked beside Eric, his arms swinging a little as he carried their plastic bags. Eric couldn’t help but stare. From Eric’s view, Juyeon’s lashes faded into the dark blue sky, his nose sloped handsomely until it dipped into the pensive contour of his lips, and his chin curved into the strong cut of his jaw, the conclusion to the profile Eric knew so well. He liked Juyeon most at this time of the day. He was at his softest and most alluring. Something about the near-darkness was like draping a cloth of silk over Juyeon’s entire being.

They kept walking in silence. Sure, Eric was talkative, but he appreciated times that he could just switch off and not worry about presenting that constant energy. He always felt safe to do that with Juyeon. It was times like these, actually, where Eric wondered if he had really fallen in love with Juyeon. It wasn’t the hardest thing to believe. He made Eric feel so at home, and Eric found him so beautiful.

“Did you want to make ramyeon to go with this?” Juyeon held up the bags. And considerate.

Eric thought about it. ‘Um, I’m not that hungry. Plus, I kinda feel like just eating finger food while we watch the movie.”

“Yeah, that’s a good call.”

They’d just about reached the dorm. Eric was almost sad that his peaceful moment with Juyeon would end, but as soon as he heard the familiar ruckus coming from within their unit, he couldn’t help the smile on his face.

“Everyone get off the couch! Me and Juyeon are watching a movie!” Eric announced as he practically kicked the door open. Juyeon followed him inside, smiling but saying nothing.

Sunwoo, Changmin, and Chanhee whipped their heads towards Eric from the living room.

“Hey, etiquette!”

“We’re playing a board game right now, the hell if you think we’re leaving.”

“At least wait until we’re done.”

“Well hurry up!” Eric replied petulantly. “...It looks fun.”

“You wanna join?”

“I already told you, me and Juyeon are watching a movie.” Eric said. “Maybe tomorrow night.”

“Oh my god, they’re really doing what they talked about during filming today,” Chanhee said in disbelief. The other two looked at him questioningly. “They said they would eat one of the snacks we tried and watch a movie together... Juyeon said it’s the kind of thing you should eat with your lover while you watch a romance movie. Because it’s sweet, right?” He directed the last part to Juyeon, who had the decency to look sheepish.

“I was just saying.”

Meanwhile, Sunwoo and Changmin smiled knowingly. “Ohhhh, I get it,” Changmin said. “Don’t worry, we’ll finish up quickly.”

“What if we wanna watch it now?” Eric threw out, just because he felt like he was missing something.

Juyeon put an arm on Eric’s shoulder. “We can shower and change into pajamas while they finish.” He had a point, there was no use trying to get the combination of SunNyuKyu to yield ground to anyone.

“Just remember to clean up when you’re done,” Eric nagged.

Eric came back to the living room clean and in his fluffiest set of pajamas. Considerately, the board game players had actually cleared out. Juyeon had already turned out the lights in the living room and was shuffling around the kitchen in the dark, preparing their snacks.

“Hyung, can I help?”

Juyeon turned around and smiled as soon as he saw Eric. “Could you put the crackers in a bowl? I’m microwaving the caramels.”

“Sure.”

Juyeon had also changed into a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt Eric remembered he used to wear outside (he thought it was fashionable) during their debut days. Juyeon popped the bowl with the caramels into the microwave and set it. They both leaned against the counter and watched the bowl spin brightly inside the little box, waiting.

“What movie do you wanna watch?” Eric asked. When he’d agreed to it at the filming earlier today, he hadn’t actually thought that far.

“Hm,” Juyeon said. There was silence while he thought. Sometimes Juyeon needed some time to convert thoughts to speech, something the entire group knew very well. Finally he said, “What about The Notebook?”

Eric blinked. Wasn’t that a romance movie? Faster than he could think, he said “No! That’s too romantic!” He gave Juyeon a playful hit. Eric couldn't help but go back to what Juyeon had said earlier during their filming. Was Juyeon saying that Eric was his lover? (The thought was obviously ludicrous.) “Let’s watch Iron Man instead!” He named the first movie that came to mind.

The corners of Juyeon’s mouth drooped. “I wanted to watch a romance movie today.”

“Whyyyy, hyung,” Eric said cutely. “That’s too much.” It was too much false hope, actually.

“I thought you liked watching rom-coms,” Juyeon replied. “But okay, we can watch Iron Man.”

“Thanks hyung,” Eric said, quickly ducking into Juyeon’s arms for a hug. In the embrace, he was surprised at how hard his heart was pounding.

 _Ding._ That was the microwave.

Juyeon extricated himself from Eric to retrieve the bowl. He turned around and Eric thought suddenly Juyeon looked tired before the movie even began.

“Should we go to the couch?” Juyeon asked, nodding towards the living room.

“Yeah!” Eric said brightly. He’d just have to make up for it with his own enthusiasm.

5.

“Youngjae-yah, are you not hungry?” Juyeon said.

Actually, that did no justice to how Juyeon really said it.

Eric was playing PUBG with Chanhee and Changmin. They were all on their respective beds (Changmin in an entirely separate room), but they’d turned on voice chat to communicate and they were raising hell in the dorm, as usual. Chanhee was throwing out all of these technical terms he’d just learned this week, Eric was pretending he was still better at the game than Chanhee, and Changmin was carrying them. He was tunnel visioned into the game so it was only natural that he didn’t hear the door crack open, or see Juyeon sneak up beside him.

Eric barely had time to register the fresh smell of aftershave and hint of humidity before a hand cradled his neck and a low voice asked, “Youngjae-yah, are you not hungry?” The voice rolled over Eric's nape and made his hairs stand up. 

Eric started and almost dropped his game. Of course it was Juyeon, gazing at him with warm eyes, just out of the shower. Eric felt his face heating up. “Hyung! You surprised me! I almost died-” Eric turned his attention back to the game frantically. He was under enemy fire but he just managed to get inside a building for cover. Wait, shit, that was a stick grenade on him- “SHI- I mean shoot, I died.” Eric exclaimed.

“Uninstall! Uninstall!” Chanhee screamed from the bunk above Eric.

“Shut up hyung! Juyeon hyung distracted me!” Eric turned towards the man in question with a pout. “Are you gonna take responsibility?”

Juyeon smiled at Eric’s antics. “What about cooking you some bibimmyeon?”

“All the sudden?” Eric asked. “We already ate barbeque earlier, I’m not hungry.”

“What? You’re not?” From thin air, Juyeon produced a bag of chips. “Have you tried this flavor?”

“This is my favorite!” Eric reached for some. “Mm!”

“Sohn Youngjae, you respawned, stop afking!” Chanhee screeched.

“Oh shit!” Eric said through a mouthful of chips. “Hold on Juyeon hyung, give me one minute.” He spent the rest of the game sneaking chips whenever he could while Juyeon, who had made his way onto the bed at some point, lay next to him and watched.

Finally the game was over. (Lost, no thanks to Eric.) Juyeon got up to leave.

“Wait, bring the chips back!” Eric said.

Juyeon just looked at him and continued towards the living room.

“Hey-” Eric leapt off his bed and trotted after Juyeon. They got to the kitchen and Juyeon put the bag of chips down, with Eric set upon with delight. 

"Bibimmyeon?" Juyeon asked. 

Eric blinked. He was out in the kitchen and his phone lay forgotten in his bed. He realized he had been manipulated. "Hey..." he began. 

"So you want me to make you pack?" Juyeon grinned cheekily. "Sure, anything for you Youngjae~" 

"That wasn't fair!" Eric groaned. "But okay, fine." He latched onto Juyeon's back and trailed behind him as he shuffled about in the kitchen. "But you gotta make me an egg the way I like it. Soft boiled but NOT runny."

"Okay, Youngjae-yah, I got it," Juyeon hummed, sounding pleased with himself. Eric kept his arms wrapped around Juyeon and pressed his face into Juyeon's back.

"Youngjae, I can't move. I have to cook."

"I gotta remind you to make my egg." That was just part of Eric's revenge. 

Eventually though, Eric got bored of that and went back to his room to grab his phone. Changmin was eating too, so the next round of PUBG was on hold. He and Changmin sat at the dining table while he chattered to Juyeon about their game and Changmin interjected occasionally to give his side of the story.

"Do we have any sides in the fridge?" Juyeon asked. 

"I think we have green onion kimchi in the fridge," Changmin said.

Juyeon peered inside and pulled it out along with some drinks. "Can you help me bring all this to the living room?" They had a fold out table low to the ground that they used to eat on pretty frequently, especially for midnight snacks. Eric jumped to set that up while his hyungs carried all of the food.

"It looks delicious!" Eric exclaimed, eyes sparkling. He paused. "Wait, Juyeon hyung, I forgot to remind you to make me my egg!"

Juyeon slid a bowl of bibimmyeon in front of Eric. A soft boiled egg sat on top of the blazing red noodles. "Don't worry, I remembered anyways."

Eric’s heart swelled. “Thanks hyung!” He patted the ground next to him and as soon as Juyeon sat down, engulfed him in a hug. “You’re the best!”

From across the table Changmin muttered something that sounded like ‘third wheel’. 

“What was that hyung?”

“Oh, nothing. Let’s eat!” Changmin smiled.

Eric snuggled into Juyeon’s side. “So anyways, Chanhee hyung and I were searching this building, right, and there was a loot package in there! But three guys came into the same room from the opposite side, and- hyung, are you listening?”

Juyeon slurped up his mouthful and swallowed. His eyebrows pinched together. “Ah, it’s spicy. Yeah, I’m listening. You had just picked up a rocket launcher from the roof before you went in, right?”

“Here, hyung.” Eric passed Juyeon his drink. Juyeon gulped it down gratefully. “Yeah, so Chanhee hyung screamed SUPER loud and I one-shot two of them with the rocket launcher because they were right on top of each other, it was crazy! Boom!” He gestured with his chopsticks. “And then Chanhee hyung killed the other one and we got the loot package!”

“You forgot to mention me headshotting their other teammates from the roof as they were trying to enter the building,” Changmin said. “I was carrying us until Eric died.”

“It’s because Juyeon hyung came in and surprised me!” Eric whined. He pretended to give Juyeon a punch to the arm.

“But it’s ok because-” Juyeon coughed. “Ugh, this brand is really spicy. It’s okay because I made you food, right?”

Eric pouted. "I guess so." Truth be told, he was very happy.

They kept eating and eventually Eric started to notice a lot of sniffling coming from Juyeon’s side. “Hyung, are you ok?”

Juyeon looked at him and Eric had to conceal a snort. Juyeon’s eyes were red rimmed and watering. “I’m fine, it’s just spicy.”

“Hyung, you’re so weak, it’s fine!” Eric said.

“Ugh, I can’t eat anymore.” Juyeon got up and retreated to the couch.

Eric and Changmin both laughed at him. “Hey,” Eric began slyly, “Does that mean I can eat the rest of yours too?”

“Ugh, sure, go ahead.” Juyeon said. “All yours.”

“Thanks hyung!”

A couple games of PUBG later, spent with Juyeon hanging off his shoulder watching, and Eric managed to finish off Juyeon's portion as well.

“Ugh, I’m so full,” Eric announced.

“You’re gonna regret that,” Changmin said from behind his phone. He and Chanhee were playing another game, but Eric was done for the night.

“Are you tired yet?” Juyeon asked Eric.

“Yeah.. I think I’m gonna get ready for bed now.”

Juyeon stood up. “Okay. I’ll clear the plates.”

“Oh, I can help with that too-”

“No, it’s fine.” Juyeon brushed off Eric’s offer. “I got it.”

Eric brushed his teeth, washed his face, worried over a spot on his forehead, and changed into pajamas before returning to the living room to help Juyeon with the dishes, whether the help was solicited or not.

“Thanks Youngjae.”

“Thanks for cooking, hyung.”

“Of course.”

“...My stomach kinda hurts.”

Juyeon laughed. “You ate too much?”

Eric pouted. “Yeah... well it’s your fault you couldn’t finish your bowl.” He gave Juyeon a playful shove but flinched because it upset his stomach.

Juyeon frowned. “It really hurts?”

“Yeah,” Eric said, somewhat embarrassed. He was a little too old to be eating himself into a stomach ache.

Juyeon sighed and shook his head. “What will I do with you...? Come on, go lie down. You’ll feel better.”

Juyeon slung an arm around Eric’s waist and walked him to his room. The door was closed and if you listened carefully there were some sounds coming from inside.

“Uh,” Eric said, “You should probably check if Younghoon hyung is in your guys’s room.”

Juyeon and Younghoon’s room was empty. “Chanhee hyung and Younghoon hyung are always sexiling me!” Eric crossed his arms.

“I know...” Juyeon said. “I mean, I guess I should be glad that they’re not using my room.”

“I guess I’ll just sleep on the couch tonight... again.”

“You’ll be uncomfortable on the couch,” Juyeon said. “Why don’t you lay down on my bed until your stomach feels better. Come on.” He ushered Eric into his room.

They both climbed onto the bed and Juyeon fussed over Eric getting comfortable. He grabbed Eric’s hand and started kneading the palm of his thumb.

“My mom used to do that for me,” Eric said.

“Mine too,” Juyeon said. “My grandma, actually. It helps with stomach aches.”

“Like pressure point therapy, right?”

“Mhm.” Juyeon nodded, gazing down at Eric. “I read a book about it once in high school. But I forgot everything.”

“Mmm.” Eric closed his eyes. Juyeon’s bed felt a lot softer and warmer than his. “Hey, didn’t you want to read a book in English?”

“Yeah. Do you want to pick one together?”

“That would be nice.” Eric said. After a long pause he added, “I’m really happy right now.”

Juyeon’s mouth quirked up although Eric’s eyes were closed to the action. “Really? Why?”

Eric was warm. He was full. He was spending time with his favorite person in the world. (He was the youngest sibling so it was impossible to deny that he loved receiving attention.) “Um, no reason.” Eric mumbled.

“...” Eric felt Juyeon shift beside him. “Oh. Well anyways, I’m glad. Does your stomach feel better now?”

“A little...” Eric yawned.

Juyeon rustled the sheets some more and Eric’s consciousness supplied that he must be laying down next to him. But the world receded away and nothing could be for certain as Eric drifted off to sleep.

Eric opened his eyes and squinted. It was so bright in his room. Usually he and Chanhee hyung had the blinds closed. A warm body shifted beside him. Juyeon turned towards Eric and opened one puffy eye, and then the other. Oh, he was in Juyeon’s room. Eric smiled without thinking. Juyeon’s face got swollen easily after eating salty food at night. Juyeon smiled back lazily.

“Why am I in your bed?” Eric mumbled.

“Your stomach hurt last night and I took you to lay down, remember? Younghoon hyung and Chanhee were using your room.” Juyeon said.

“Oh, right.” Eric made to sit up but Juyeon tugged him back down.

“Sleep some more. We went to bed late last night.” Juyeon wrapped his arms around Eric and pushed Eric’s head under the blankets and into his chest. “Does your stomach still hurt?”

“No, I’m fine now.” Eric just hoped Juyeon couldn’t feel his incandescent smile pressed up against him.

Eric’s day unfolded just as wonderfully as it had begun. They got up after noon and ate

breakfast (lunch). He, Juyeon, and Jacob decided to do a vlive before their practice in the evening and Eric was excited to chat with the fans. Before he had to go to the company, he worked on one of his verses in his room. Between thoughts of lyrics, what he would say to deobis, and replaying waking up next to Juyeon in his mind, the time passed easily and happily.

He dressed up in a blazer and parted his hair with some gel although he was just going to do a vlive and practice. He was in such a good mood that he even bought a pot of flowers from a roadside florist he passed on the way to Creker’s building.

The minute he got into their dingy vlive room and saw Juyeon (and Jacob) waiting, he couldn’t help the giddy feeling that spread out in his chest. Eric was usually happy on broadcast, but it felt like today especially, he couldn’t contain himself. As soon as they switched the camera on, Eric itched to bring up the fun he and Juyeon and the rest of the members had last night, if only to relive the last part with Juyeon again in his head.

Finally Eric found a comment that gave him an opening: “I stayed up all night watching your vlive replays and now I’m watching this.” Eric read out. He giggled. “Hey, we stayed up late last night too. Almost until morning.” He looked at Juyeon for permission. “Is it ok to tell them a dorm story?”

“Oh, sure” Juyeon agreed. Jacob did too, though Eric barely paid him any mind.

“Okay, so,” Eric enthused, launching into his story. He loved telling stories. “I was in my and Chanhee hyung’s room and Chanhee hyung was playing PUBG _super loudly_...”

“...And then suddenly Juyeon came in and he was like-” Eric was finally at one of his favorite parts of last night. “Jacob, you’re me and I’m Juyeon hyung, okay?”

Jacob nodded, indulging Eric.

Eric leaned in close and whispered dramatically, “Youngjae-yah, are you not hungry?”

“Wow,” Jacob said.

“It was literally just like that,” Eric said.

Juyeon interrupted. “No I-” His hand was in front of his face again. “It wasn’t like that, it was like-” He reached for Eric and Eric celebrated internally that he’d somehow coaxed a repeat performance from Juyeon. Juyeon’s voice was as soft and genuine as it had been last night and Eric couldn’t stop his heart from leaping.

He shrieked and pretended to push Juyeon away. “He seriously did it like that! I was so concentrated on the game and suddenly he was right beside me, I got scared!”

“Was I bothering you?” Juyeon asked.

“It was too cheesy!” Eric exclaimed, feeling his face heat. He turned towards Jacob and pretended to be Juyeon again. “Youngjae-yah, are you not hungry?” His voice took on an almost flirtatious hush before he giggled.

“Oh really? It was too cheesy?”

“Yeah,” Eric said, hitting Juyeon playfully.

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Juyeon said. “Then I won’t do it again,” He said stiffly to the camera.

Eric dismissed Juyeon’s words quickly and continued to gush about last night. The fans loved dorm stories. But he saved the best parts for his memory alone, of course.

Later that night, Eric was stuck in his room again. Surprisingly, Chanhee was already fast asleep in his top bunk. Eric figured that maybe he should turn in early for the night as well. He needed to sleep in order to grow more. He was still hanging on to the hope that he would make it to 175cm, after all. But his damn stomach wouldn’t stop gurgling. He really didn’t want to eat a late night snack two days in a row. His metabolism was fast but not _that_ fast.

He rolled around, summoning up the memory of last night. If he imagined he was wrapped up with Juyeon, surely that would help him sleep. But many minutes of fantasizing later and he was still wide awake with a hole gnawing itself into his stomach. Sighing, he picked himself off his bed and headed towards the kitchen.

He squinted as soon as he entered the common area. His nose was hit with the smell of something delicious. As soon as his vision adjusted, he found Jacob, Haknyeon, Younghoon, and Juyeon crowded on the floor finishing up what could only be Juyeon’s signature cream pasta.

Juyeon looked up and he and Eric locked eyes. Eric was about to open his mouth to ask why Juyeon hadn’t checked if he wanted any, but suddenly the words ‘too cheesy’ and ‘i won’t do it again’ echoed in Eric’s head. Juyeon really meant that? He snapped his jaw closed and felt a strange awkwardness crawling up his skin, getting stronger the longer he kept eye contact with Juyeon.

Juyeon was looking at him silently without moving, his fork still poised over the last bite of his pasta. Eric floundered for seconds before he came to. He was the one to drop his gaze first, turning and retreating back to his room without saying a word.

It wasn’t such a big surprise that sleep didn’t come easily to Eric that night.

+1.

The group finally got a break after Road to Kingdom ended. Things had been quiet between Eric and Juyeon after that awkward night a couple weeks ago, although it hadn’t reached the point of active tension. Preparing for the finale had been a really good distraction for that. Now it was the first day of their vacation, and although some of the members had gone back home, both Eric and Juyeon had decided to stay in the dorms. Eric wondered if it had anything to do with the last time they’d gone on a vacation and Juyeon had felt guilty about leaving him alone in the dorms.

Eric was on this bed with his phone but a commotion outside brought him into the living room. Sunwoo, Changmin, Chanhee, and Jacob had just gotten back from their day trip to the beach.

“It was amazing!”

“The most refreshing trip ever!”

“We took tons of pictures, heh.”

“ _Chanhee_ took lots of pictures.”

“Chanhee made us take lots of pictures of _him_!”

Sunwoo looked at Eric with a carefree smile that Eric hadn’t seen in months. He and Changmin both smelled faintly of cigarettes. Today must have been a nice chance to decompress. “You missed out.”

Eric couldn’t help but feel the same. It was no secret that he loved the beach and missed his favorite place in SoCal. The last time he’d gone was... more than a year ago now. It had been with Juyeon during their vacation together. They’d stayed until sunset and then Juyeon had pointed out constellations on Eric’s lawn after they went home.

As if he was reading Eric’s mind, Jacob said, “The stars are really bright tonight.”

“Really?” Eric said. He really wanted to go to the beach. Maybe he could ask Juyeon, but they hadn’t really talked about the night from a few weeks ago.

“It’s not too late to go,” Chanhee piped up.

Eric was easily swayed. “..How long did it take you to get there?”

“We took a taxi and it was only about an hour.”

It was late already, but nothing slept in Korea anyways. Eric felt the corners of his lips tug up in anticipation as he said, “Okay! I’ll ask Juyeon hyung if we can go together.”

He left the four of them in the living room and cracked the door to Juyeon and Younghoon’s room open. “..Hyung?”

Both Juyeon and Younghoon looked up from their respective beds at his voice. Younghoon had scripts scattered around him- he didn’t really get to take a break since filming for his drama was right around the corner and Eric couldn’t help but worry for him.

“What is it?” Younghoon asked.

“Um, actually it’s for Juyeon hyung.”

Juyeon, who hadn’t said anything yet, peered at Eric. “Yeah?”

Eric felt the hint of distancedness in Juyeon’s tone and his confidence came down a notch. “Um... do you want to go to the beach with me? Right now I mean. The others came back and Jacob hyung said the stars are really bright tonight. We could stargaze as well. And I’m a bit hungry. Did you eat? We could find a place to eat as well.”

Eric continued on and Juyeon stared at him all the while, expression slowly melting from disinterest to amusement and fondness. Finally Juyeon opened his mouth. “Sure.”

“Really?” Eric exclaimed. “Great! It’s late but they said we could get there fast if we take a taxi! And the places to eat near the beach should be open late anyways! Let’s get ready!”

“Okay, okay.” Juyeon was still stretched out on his bunk. “Just give me a second to get ready.”

“Okay! I’ll see you by the front door in five!” Eric ran off to his room to get dressed, missing the way Younghoon was holding back laughter.

“Remember to dress warmly!” Juyeon called to him as he left.

(“Whipped.” Younghoon said.

“Shut up.” Juyeon replied)

An hour and five minutes (or so) later, the two were climbing out of the taxi and into the crisp ocean air. Eric could already hear the crashing of waves in the distance and taste the salt on his tongue. They decided to find a place to eat first. There were a healthy number of people milling around the beach and the neighborhood near it, but it was nowhere near crowded. They found a gopchang place and ate their fill happily.

“It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve been anywhere other than Seoul.” Eric said as they were leaving the place. “I like this neighborhood. Everything seems so much more personal and friendly.”

“Me too. It’s a nice change of pace.” Juyeon said. His eyes were already up in the sky, even as they walked. Juyeon had told Eric a while ago that he used to go stargazing with his Dad. He could point out dozens of constellations without the help of a guide. Seoul was constantly bright and it was hard to see stars from their dorm.

“Can we go to the convenience store to get drinks?” Eric asked. “And then we can go to the beach.”

“Sure.”

They entered a mom-and-pop convenience store facing the water. It was probably Eric’s first time in a non-chain store in Korea. They were supposed to be getting drinks, but Eric left Juyeon by the fridges to explore the tiny place. The shop carried all sorts of beach related supplies and toys, which made sense. Eric took his time picking stuff up and playing with some of the toys.

“I got us some soda.”

Eric turned around and Juyeon was holding two cans of his favorite. “Look hyung, it’s a duckie!” Eric showed Juyeon the toy he happened to be holding. It was a long stick with a plastic duck stuck on the end. Eric shook it up and down and the toy made a quacking sound. “So cute!”

Juyeon’s eyes scrunched up. “Can I try?”

“Sure,” Eric handed the toy to Juyeon who started waving it. “It’s cute, right?”

“Yeah,” Juyeon admitted, looking at Eric instead of the toy. “Anyways, I’m gonna pay for these drinks. You can keep looking around if you want.”

“Okay,” Eric said, and Juyeon went to the counter and returned quickly. As soon as they were out of the store, Eric made grabby hands at Juyeon. “Gimme my drink!” The gopchang had been really salty.

“Impatient,” Juyeon said, but pushed two items into Eric’s hands.

“Huh?” In one hand was the drink, and in the other was the duck toy.

“It seemed like you liked it so...” Juyeon smiled at Eric’s confusion.

“Aw, thank you hyung!” Eric latched onto Juyeon’s side. He was still a little confused. Juyeon had been almost cold in the weeks preceding, but now he was suddenly being so affectionate. Eric had a feeling that it had to do with his comments from the vlive weeks ago, but it seemed like such a small thing to be upset over. He reluctantly resolved to ask Juyeon about it by the end of the night.

They walked right up to the water first, Eric wanting to reacquaint himself with the ocean right away. He didn’t take his shoes off and dip his toes in though. It was too cold for that. He asked Juyeon to take some pictures of him posing with the toy but when he asked Juyeon if he wanted pictures of himself, his hyung brushed the offer off. Eric took pictures and videos of Juyeon for himself anyways. The image of Juyeon on the beach at night was too precious to entrust solely to the fallibility of Eric’s memory.

Afterwards they picked a spot on the sand and Juyeon leaned back to examine the night sky. If going to the water was Eric’s metaphorical return to home, then this was Juyeon’s.

“Jacob hyung was right, the stars are really bright tonight.” Eric said.

“Yeah,” Juyeon said wistfully. Eric knew right away that he was recalling memories from when he was younger. Minutes later and Juyeon still had nothing to say. Eric decided this was as good a time as any to get his question out of the way.

“Juyeon hyung?”

“Yeah?” Juyeon’s dark eyes flitted from the spotted sky to Eric and reflections of the stars flickered and extinguished microscopically inside of them.

Eric licked his lips. “Did I.. Did I hurt your feelings that time?”

“Hm?”

“During that vlive a while ago. When I told you not to be so cheesy and then you stopped asking me if I wanted to eat with you. Or do anything, actually.” Eric couldn’t help the pout in his voice.

Juyeon’s shoulders fell as he exhaled. “Oh, that time.” He said.

He was quiet and Eric waited on edge. “Juyeon hyung?”

Juyeon remained silent for a long time. Eric was too afraid to prompt him again. The waves whispered in the air around them. It was almost as if they were taunting Eric. Lights from buoys in the distance blinked back at him impassively. It was as if Juyeon’s pause had halted all of Eric’s senses.

At last, Juyeon spoke again. “Yeah. It was small, but it did hurt me.” Eric was about to speak but Juyeon continued. “There were other times too.”

“What do you mean?” Eric could hear blood begin to rush in his ears. He scrambled to recall any of the times Juyeon might be referring to.

Juyeon sighed again. “You really don’t know, Youngjae-yah?”

Eric bit his lip. “What do you mean?” He repeated.

Once again Juyeon was silent, but this time Eric could hear the cogs turning, taking thoughts and generating words and then constructing them into sentences.

“When I came back from vacation and found you in the dorm alone, I felt so bad. But then you told me that you didn’t need me to take you to my house during vacation and I felt even worse.” Juyeon sucked in a breath. “I know you were only joking but your acrostic poem during our vlive on White Day hurt me too. It’s stupid but I’m even hurt when you tell me my selfies are ugly.” Juyeon tipped his head back up to the stars. “You know that I care about what you think of me, right?”

Eric swallowed. Incidents that he’d carelessly tossed away from his thoughts were now reconfiguring themselves in his memory. “I’m sorry, hyung. I didn’t think you’d take those things I said so seriously. I mean, you’re perfect. I’m just bad at teasing.”

Juyeon actually laughed. “It’s so weird that you don’t get it. You’re supposed to be better at feelings than me.”

Eric’s heart leapt into his throat. “What do you mean..?” He was almost afraid to speak.

“I even gave you candy on White Day...” Juyeon mused.

“Huh?”

“Youngjae, I thought I was being obvious.” Juyeon said. “I care about what you say because I like you.”

Eric blinked. The wind whistled against his face and tugged at his eyelashes. Juyeon looked at him impassively, and yet the darkness couldn’t hide the flush across the bridge of his nose. “You like me?”

Juyeon looked at his nails. “Why do you think I wanted to watch a romance film that one time?” He turned towards the ocean. Eric suddenly realized that Juyeon was trying to play it cool.

He thought back to all the times Juyeon had listed. Looking back, the signs were all there. Eric had just been too hesitant to believe them. “I’m so fucking stupid.”

“It probably means something if you didn’t notice,” Juyeon said. His voice was oddly level, as if he was forcing it out. “You can just forget about this.”

“No!” Eric blurted. Juyeon looked back at him. “I like you too!”

“Are you serious?”

Eric nodded sincerely. He could barely hear himself over the rush in his ears.

Juyeon stared at him. Slowly his lips curled up. “We’re both really fucking stupid.”

“I think I’m okay with that,” Eric said, blushy and giddy.

“Yeah, me too.” Juyeon replied. They were still staring at each other.

Something hit Eric. “Wait, so this counts as our first date!” Eric gasped. “Beach date!”

Juyeon laughed. “I guess it does. It’s pretty nice being out here with the water and the stars.” He nudged Eric. “I even bought you something.”

Eric gave the duck toy a good shake. “Thanks hyung, I love it~”

“So now that this is a date, what do you want to do?” Juyeon asked playfully.

Honestly, Eric just wanted to catch up and have a real conversation with Juyeon after hectic months of nonstop practice. “Tell me about the stars. Can you show me how to find Polaris again?” Eric asked.

Juyeon’s enthusiasm lit up the darkness. “You know, you’ll be able to see them much better laying down.”

“Okay,” Eric started to lean back but Juyeon stopped him.

“I meant like this.” He tugged Eric until his head was resting in Juyeon’s lap. Eric spluttered. “Is this okay?” Juyeon wore a shy smile.

“Of course, you just surprised me.” Eric said. “Now start talking, Galileo.”

.

.

.

The first thing Eric registered when he woke was the soft caress of wind across his head. He opened his eyes slowly and the world came swimming into focus before him. The sun hadn’t crested the horizon yet. Pink and purple washes across the sky slowly untangled themselves from the pale blue of waves rocking lazily to shore. He must have fallen asleep. He took a breath just to enjoy the moment. Seagulls called faintly in the distance while the ocean babbled in front of him. The sand was cool and grounded him where he lay. The smell of the sea which he could never get enough of was tangy in the air, only tempered by the sweet earthiness of Juyeon’s favorite cologne.

“Good morning.” Eric heard softly from above. It was Juyeon. Without Eric noticing, the wind against his hair had become Juyeon’s fingers, combing gently through his locks.

When Eric turned his eyes to Juyeon the entire world around him faded away. Juyeon was radiant in the dawn. Eric couldn’t tear his gaze away. Juyeon looked at him with tender eyes and his lips- his lips moved to form words Eric could barely concentrate on hearing.

“Let’s watch the sunrise together, Youngjae.”

Juyeon’s lips folded and pursed around the words and Eric hesitated for only a beat before leaning up and pressing against them with his own.

Juyeon went still and for a second Eric doubted himself. But then he was wrapped up in the familiar feeling of Juyeon’s embrace as their lips moved chastely against each other. Eric swore that he could feel the sparks going off behind his eyelids.

They parted and Eric’s head came back to Juyeon’s lap. Eric felt dizzy and his mouth was still open in wonder. This was real life. Juyeon was looking at him and smiling like the sun.

“Hyung, why are you smiling?”

Juyeon got red and nudged Eric’s face towards the sea. “Just watch the sunrise.”

Eric turned back as a grin crept up on his face. “No, hyung, I want to know why you’re smiling.”

Juyeon huffed. “I already confessed. Why do I have to tell you?”

“Because I want to hear it.” Eric replied. “And then I’ll shut up and watch the sunrise.”

Juyeon gave a long pause, but finally his shoulders deflated as he relented. His eyes slid to his side as he said, “...Because you make me happy.”

Eric had his answer. He felt like his heart was going to burst. There was no way that he was going to say the wrong thing this time.

“You make me happy too, hyung.”

**Author's Note:**

> Eric does a lot of sleeping here. I think that's my subconscious telling me I'm not getting enough sleep... And I tried to be pretty factual in here but if something seems inconsistent please let me know @_______@
> 
> Citing sources like a good samaritan:  
> 1\. https://twitter.com/DforQ/status/1224538328437075975?s=19  
> 2\. https://www.vlive.tv/video/178705  
> 3\. https://www.vlive.tv/video/179506?channelCode=DE341F 01:30:20  
> 4\. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzL2Iz6ClCA&t=319s  
> 5\. https://www.vlive.tv/video/192408?channelCode=DE341F around 18:00  
> +1 Their beach trip was well documented on @WE_THE_BOYZ twitter!
> 
> It’s so funny but sad seeing Juyeon get sad every time lmfao eric be nicer! comments and kudos always appreciated hehe. Also I've got [CC](https://curiouscat.qa/tomatojuicee) !


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